


exile

by localspacelesbian



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Andiversary Week, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Gen, Mild Language, POV Alternating, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, Tarty as exes, i believe someone said give marty a stoyline outside of buffy?, marty is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25511656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localspacelesbian/pseuds/localspacelesbian
Summary: “We’re friends. And we can joke around, remember? Virtual couple.”“Feels… more like virtual nothing.” Marty slowly backed away and turned around. He walked away but quickly broke into a run. He couldn’t bring himself to look back. He just kept running.Marty processes his second heartbreak and runs into an old friend. TJ experiences his second love and tries to make things right with his first.
Relationships: Buffy Driscoll/Marty, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen, T. J. Kippen & Marty & Iris & Amber, T. J. Kippen/Marty (past)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

_“We’re friends. And we can joke around, remember? Virtual couple.”_

_“Feels… more like virtual nothing.” Marty slowly backed away and turned around. He walked away but quickly broke into a run. He couldn’t bring himself to look back. He just kept running._

_Sixth grade. The first day back after winter break._

_Marty walked into the cafeteria and saw TJ sitting with the other basketball players. He glanced up and looked right through Marty like he wasn’t even there before turning back to his teammates and laughing at something one of them said. Marty looked over and saw Amber and Iris at another table with some other eighth grade girls. Iris gave him a small smile, but Amber wouldn’t even look at him. Marty turned and walked over to some kids he knew from the track team and asked to sit with them._

_Seventh grade. The day after Buffy…_

_He walked by the cafeteria and saw her sitting there with her friends. She waved at him, but he just turned and walked away. He didn’t know if he could do this again._

Marty had gotten so used to having a running partner, it almost felt weird now to run by himself. But at the same time, it was the only thing that still felt normal. He ran almost every day, making sure to take different routes than he had with Buffy. Strange how quickly one can become so skilled at avoiding people.

He took a break from his run, stopping at a park. He sat down on a bench and took a drink of his water before looking around. He hadn’t really been paying much attention to where he was going other than making sure it wasn’t somewhere that would remind him of Buffy, so it took him a second to recognize which park it was. He hadn’t been here in a while.

“Marty?”

He looked over at the sound of the familiar voice he hadn’t heard in a year. “Iris? What are you doing here?” It was weird to see her again. She wasn’t the one he was avoiding, not really, but the three of them were kind of a package deal. He wondered if that was still true.

She gestured toward the playground. “Watching my little brother.” Marty looked over and saw him playing with some other kids. They turned back to each other. She looked kind of nervous. She always looked kind of nervous, but not usually around him. It was weird. “Can I sit?”

He nodded, and she sat down next to him on the bench. They both looked back over at the playground for a second, neither of them knowing what to say.

“It’s been a while…” Iris said.

Marty just nodded.

“How’s Val?”

Not “How are you?” Not even “How are your moms?” But “How’s your cat?” Marty smiled slightly, thinking about how Iris had always been Val’s favorite. He looked around and realized they weren’t too far away from where they’d found her. “She’s good. She misses you guys.”

“Yeah?”

Marty nodded again.

“I miss her, too.”

“How’s Lemon?”

“She’s good. She misses you, too.”

Marty laughed. “Yeah, right. She hates me.”

“She’s a gecko.”

“Yeah, a gecko who hates me.”

Iris shook her head, laughing lightly. “Ok, maybe a little bit, but to be fair, she hates all men, and who doesn’t?”

“Rude.” They both laughed. To be honest, Marty had always kind of found Lemon’s hatred of him weirdly validating. And it was hilarious how annoyed TJ was that she didn’t like him either. He looked down as they fell silent. After a few seconds, Marty spoke again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cut you guys off just because of what happened between me and TJ.”

Iris shook her head. “It’s not just your fault. Even if you tried to talk to us, I don’t think Amber would let you. She won’t even say your name anymore.”

Marty gave her a confused look. “Why is she mad at me?”

Iris shrugged. “She’s very protective of TJ if you haven’t noticed. Honestly, the two of them aren’t even that close anymore, but she still takes any insult to him personally. And of course she expects me to take any insult to her personally. I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to you either.”

“Well, I’m not going to tell her,” he joked. But there was something else Iris had said that concerned him more, even if really it shouldn’t be any of his business anymore. “What do you mean TJ and Amber aren’t close anymore?” He couldn’t imagine the two of them not being close. Sure, the four of them hadn’t hung out as much once TJ and Marty hit middle school, but Marty didn’t realize it had gotten worse.

Iris looked down, picking at her nails. “I don’t know. At first I thought they were just drifting apart cause we’re getting older, especially since we got to high school, but they barely talk to each other anymore.” She looked at him. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen the way they both are lately. It’s a wonder _anyone_ still talks to them.”

“You do.”

Iris shrugged and looked down again. “Yeah…”

Marty decided to change topics. “So, are you and Cyrus still dating?”

“I don’t know.”

Marty frowned. “How do you not know?” It wasn’t supposed to be that complicated of a question.

“Well, we haven’t officially broken up, but we haven’t talked in a while. We had this date a while back. We were watching a movie, and then he kissed me, and it was kind of awkward, and then he kind of freaked out and left. And he hasn’t talked to me since. So I think it’s over, but… I don’t know.”

Marty furrowed his brow. That didn’t sound like Cyrus. He didn’t know the other boy very well, but he definitely seemed like the type to be better at communicating about that sort of thing. “I’m sorry.”

Iris shrugged. “It’s ok. I’m not as upset about it as I thought I would be. I think Amber’s more upset on my behalf than I am.”

Marty nodded. Of course she was. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I guess if I see him again, I’ll talk to him, but for now I should probably just assume it’s over. You know I don’t like confrontation…” She looked down again, and he got the feeling she wasn’t just talking about Cyrus.

He decided not to say anything though. After all, running away from his problems (usually literally) was kind of his specialty.

She shook her head and turned back to him. “Anyway, how are things with you and Buffy?”

Marty winced.

She frowned. “What happened?”

“I told her I liked her. It… didn’t go well.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I really thought she liked me back, you know? But I guess… I don’t know.”

She nodded. “Yeah… I’m sorry.”

He gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”

She smiled at him and then looked back over at the playground. “I should probably get going.”

He nodded. “Yeah, me too.” They both stood up, and she started to walk away, but he stopped her. “Hey, Iris?”

“Yeah?”

He glanced down. “You know, if you ever want to come over to see Val, you’re always welcome.”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Thanks, Marty.” She turned to go get her brother, and he turned around to run home, feeling better than he had when he’d left his house a couple hours ago. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed Iris.

* * *

Marty and his mom were playing _Wii Boxing_ when the doorbell rang. “Honey, can you get that?” Audrey called to her wife as she virtually punched her son in the face.

Marty could practically hear Jessie roll her eyes as she got up to get the door. He heard her open the door, but he was focused on the screen, where he was being destroyed by his own mother. She knocked him out just as Jessie said, “Marty, it’s for you.”

He sighed and turned to see who it was. He was shocked to see Iris standing there. They hadn’t talked since that day in the park a couple weeks ago. And now she stood in his living room. Her eyes and nose were red, like she’d been crying. “Iris?”

“Hi, Marty.”

He quickly removed the strap to the Wii remote from his wrist and dropped it on the couch as he walked up to her. “Are you ok?”

She just shook her head. He glanced at his moms, who looked just as worried as he felt. He took her hand, leading her upstairs to his bedroom without another word. As soon as they were alone, he turned to her and asked, “What happened?”

She shook her head again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Iris, what happened?” he repeated.

“Amber…” She took a shaky breath. “Amber and I got in a fight.”

He led her over to the bed, and they both sat down. “What do you mean you got in a fight? You never fight.”

She looked down. “I know. I don’t know what happened. I was trying to talk to her about Cyrus. By the way, Cyrus and I officially broke up, and it’s fine, and it doesn’t really matter right now, but I was trying to talk to Amber about it, and she wasn’t listening to me.” As she talked she got more angry and animated. “And I just got so tired of it, you know? Like, she never listens to me. And she’s so mean. Like, to everyone, all the time. But not as much to me, usually. But I’m so tired of defending her. Like, I know she’s insecure. But at a certain point, there just isn’t any excusing it anymore. Right? Like, I’m always there for her, even when I know she’s the one in the wrong, but she’s never there for me. And it’s always kind of been like that, but it’s been getting worse, especially since we got to high school, and especially since things with her parents have been getting worse. And I just finally got so fed up with it. So I kind of snapped.”

“What’d you do?”

She looked at him. “I told her to listen to me.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Well… actually… I sort of yelled it?”

God, Marty would pay to see that. Actually, scratch that. He’d pay to see the look on Amber’s face when it happened. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on.

“And I told her I was done letting her treat me like that. And then she got defensive, and we fought. And… it was a lot.” She took a shaky breath. “Marty, I don’t think there’s any coming back from this.”

That surprised him. “Couldn’t you-”

She shook her head. “No, Marty.” She sighed. “Honestly, even if she does apologize, which I doubt she will, I don’t know if I want to be her friend anymore. It hurts too much.”

Marty nodded. He got that. That’s how he felt about TJ. And it was how he felt about Buffy now, too.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open a little wider, and they both looked over to see Val walking in the room. Marty smiled. “I think someone figured out you were here and that you were upset.”

Iris looked at her with a small smile. “Hi, Val. Do you remember me?”

Marty nudged her with his arm. “Of course she does. It hasn’t been that long.”

He stood up and leaned down to pick her up and put her on the bed. He watched her hesitantly approach Iris before finally going right into her lap and butting her hand with her head. Iris smiled softly as she started petting her.

Marty shook his head, smiling at the two of them. “You always were her favorite.”

Iris looked up at him. “That’s not true. You’re totally her favorite.”

Marty shook his head again. “She only likes me because I feed her. And even then, I think she still likes you more. And that’s after her not seeing you for a year.”

Iris looked back down at Val. After a few seconds of silence, she said, “I think I’m in love with her.”

“Who? Val?”

Iris just looked back up him.

“Oh.” _Amber._ He nodded and sat down next to her. “Yeah… I could have told you that.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “You weren’t the most subtle. I don’t think she noticed though. You know how she is.”

Iris nodded and looked back down at Val.

Marty put his arm around her. “I’m sorry.”

“I think standing up to her helped, in a weird way. Like, it hurts. A lot. But I think I needed to do it. I think maybe now I can start to get over her. I just need to never see her again.” She frowned. “Which should be really easy considering we have almost every class together,” she added bitterly.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “If it helps, as the master of avoiding people, it does get easier. I managed to convince Buffy that TJ had no idea who I was and in the same day try out for the basketball team without wanting to cry. Although a part of me is honestly kind of relieved that I didn’t make the team, especially now that Buffy’s on it, too.” He gave her a small smile. “And like I said, you’re always welcome here.”

She leaned into him. “Thanks.”

* * *

_“So what’s the emergency?” Iris asked as she walked into Marty’s room._

_He stopped pacing and looked at her, running his hands through his hair. “I think I like TJ.”_

_She nodded. “Yeah… I could have told you that. So what’s the emergency?” she repeated._

_He stared at her. “That’s it.”_

_Iris laughed lightly, walking towards him and taking his hand in hers. “Marty, he’s liked you since before either of you knew what a crush even was.”_

_Marty shook his head. “Even if you’re right, that was before.”_

_She squeezed his hand and gave him a sad smile. “And what makes you think anything’s changed for him?”_

_“He’s straight.”_

_“What makes you so sure of that?”_

_Marty looked down and didn’t answer the question._

_“He’s never had a crush on anyone before. And come on, I know your moms taught you better than to make assumptions like that.”_

_Marty blushed._

_Iris led him over to his bed, and they sat down. “Look, I know this is your first real crush, and it’s new and scary, but we’re still kids, and you and TJ are best friends. Whatever happens, that’s not going to change.”_

_He leaned his head on her shoulder. “I know. You’re right. Thanks, Iris.”_

“So what’s the emergency?” Iris asked as she walked into Marty’s room, feeling a sense of déjà vu as he stopped pacing to look at her.

“Buffy’s moving.”

That caught her off guard. “What?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Buffy’s moving. And her friends are making this time capsule thing for her, and Cyrus asked me if I wanted to add anything to it.”

Iris nodded. “Are you going to?”

He nodded and gestured toward his desk where the open box sat.

She looked at it and then raised her eyebrow at him. “Shoelaces?”

He shrugged. “It’s kind of an inside joke. Is it stupid?”

She smiled at him. “It’s not stupid.”

“There’s also a note.” He took the piece of paper off the desk and handed it to her, nervously watching her read it.

When she finished, she looked back up at him with a smile. “It’s perfect.”

He exhaled in relief. “Thanks.” He took it back to fold it up and put it in the box, but his hands were shaking, so she took it back and did it for him.

She put the lid on the box and then turned back to him, taking his hands in her own. “Marty, it’s ok. She’s going to love it.”

He looked down. “She doesn’t love me.”

She moved one hand up to his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

He turned away and sat on his bed. “I thought… I thought I never wanted to see her again. Because it hurts. It hurts to see her everyday. But now that it’s actually happening. Now that I’ll actually never see her again…” It felt like his heart was breaking all over again, and this time, it was so much more final. Any last remaining bit of hope he had was just gone.

She sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Marty!” His mom called from downstairs. “Cyrus is here!”

Marty leapt up and started heading toward the door, but Iris stopped him and handed him the box he’d forgotten. He smiled at her gratefully and then ran downstairs.

“Hey, Cyrus.”

“Hey, Marty.”

“Um, here.” He handed Cyrus the box.

Cyrus nodded as he took it. “Thanks.”

Marty nodded. “Yeah, um, thanks, you know, for doing this, for letting me add something.”

Cyrus just smiled at him and nodded again. “Yeah, of course. I’m sure Buffy will appreciate it. She still cares about you, you know, even if she won’t admit it.”

Marty nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

Cyrus gave him a sad smile. “Yeah… Well, I should probably…”

Marty nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you around, Cyrus.”

“Goodbye, Marty.”

Marty watched Cyrus leave before closing the door and turning around. He saw Iris standing on the stairs looking at him. He sighed, and she walked up to him, taking his hand. “Ice cream?”

He just nodded, and the two of them walked into the kitchen together. The two of them, along with Marty’s moms and Val, ended up in the living room watching movies together for the rest of the night.

* * *

Iris's phone rang, and glad for a break from her homework, she answered it. "Hey Marty, what's up?"

"Hey, you know that girl Rachel I was telling you about? From my math class?"

The name sounded vaguely familiar. "Yeah. Why?"

"I asked her out."

 _Where the hell did that come from?_ "What? You did? I thought you still liked Buffy?"

“What? No. Buffy’s in another state. I’m never going to see Buffy again. I am over Buffy.”

“Uh huh…” Iris didn’t believe that for a second.

“Anyway, Rachel and I are going out on Saturday. Where should I take her?”

“Why are you asking me? You had a boyfriend for longer than I did.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like TJ and I were able to actually go out ever. At least, not just the two of us. Actually, I’m pretty sure you were there for most of our dates. Besides, you’re kind of the only person I can talk to about this stuff because there’s no way I’m asking my moms.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean. Where did you and Cyrus go on dates?”

She bit her lip as she thought about it. “Well, we didn’t go on very many. There was the double date with Amber and Jonah at Adrenaline City, which was fun. Until the end…”

“When he puked in his shoe?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Marty, when he puked in his shoe. Don’t be a dick.”

“Sorry. Go on.”

She sighed. “Um, we went to The Spoon a couple times, but I guess that’s kind of off limits for you. Oh and the Natural History Museum. And we talked about going to the zoo, but we never did. And then there was our last date. We watched a documentary about reptiles. Or started to anyway… It was a good documentary though. Oh, and not exactly a date, but we ran into each other at the Renaissance Faire, and that’s when we officially ended things.”

“God, you two are such nerds.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, it’s like you were made for each other. How did that not work out?”

“I don’t know. It just didn’t.” Well, she had a theory, but she didn’t think it would be right to speculate about that. “So what kinds of things does Rachel like?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know her that well.”

“You asked her out,” she pointed out.

“Well, maybe I want to get to know her. Besides, you asked Cyrus out when you didn’t know him that well.”

“That was kind of Amber’s idea. And we talked a little at Andi’s party. He was nice and cute. But I see your point. You should do something fun, like the trampoline park or Adrenaline City or-” She cut herself off when she realized she was about to say “the virtual reality arcade.”

“Or what?”

“Um, or the Natural History Museum. That’s fun.”

“I’m not trying to bore her to death, Iris. Adrenaline City could work. I’ll try not to puke in my shoe.”

“Marty…” She sighed.

“Ok. Sorry, that was the last time, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, have fun on your date. Let me know how it goes.”

“Yeah, ok, good luck with your homework or whatever you high schoolers do.”

Iris laughed. “Bye, Marty.”

“Bye.”

Iris hung up her phone and set it down on her desk. She sighed as she looked at her homework and then pulled it toward her to finish it, but she really didn’t want to. Not because it was hard, but because it was boring. And even after hanging up with Marty, she was still distracted. He had a way of always reminding her of the good times with Amber and TJ, before everything had gone wrong. Which made her feel both like a little kid and ridiculously old. Maybe she and Cyrus _were_ a lot alike.

Marty was also right that she had been there for a lot of his and TJ’s dates. She hadn’t really thought about it like that, but hell, she and Amber had planned their first real date for them. It was probably one of that last nice things Amber had done. Amber had always had a soft spot for Marty. At least, she did.

_It was funny how people always said that TJ and Marty would end up dating one day. It was funny how people didn’t say that when they read Marty as a boy. And by funny, Marty meant heteronormative bullshit. It’s not like Marty was any less bi now than he was before. And TJ was actually more gay now. So of course, it wasn’t until after he came out that they did start dating. It was the summer before sixth grade, and Marty was so glad he was going to be able to start a new school with his first boyfriend and being able to actually be himself from the start. Fifth grade hadn’t been easy, and he was possibly the only person ever to be excited for middle school. It helped that they’d finally be at the same school as Amber and Iris again._

_Of course, before any of that could happen, to be_ dating _, the two boys had to, you know, go on_ dates _. TJ was hesitant. Not about liking Marty, he’d apparently been sure of that for a while, but now that that meant he was gay, he was scared of what would happen if other people found out. Especially his parents, who didn’t even know they were friends._

_They mostly just hung out at Marty’s house, and it was fine. Marty understood why they couldn’t go out like other couples. And he knew TJ liked him. But things didn’t really feel that different from before they were dating. Amber said it was just like that when you’re that young, but he wasn’t sure she really believed that. But he couldn’t complain. He wasn’t going to try to force TJ to come out._

_One day, the four of them were out walking around, and it was starting to get dark. TJ and Amber’s parents thought they were at Iris’s, and Iris’s parents thought they were at Marty’s. Marty was about to suggest heading back there now, when Amber said she had an idea. They followed her in the direction of Adrenaline City, which didn’t make sense. Surely, they were closed by now. Why would they go there?_

_It was surprisingly easy to sneak in. They were all too hyped up on sugar and adrenaline to be bothered worrying too much about getting caught. Amber seemed to know where she was going, which she refused to explain as she led them over to the ferris wheel._

_“What’s happening?” TJ finally asked._

_“Your first date,” Amber explained with a grin. Iris stood next to her with a matching one, and Marty realized they’d planned this. “Now come on, get in.” She ushered them over to the seat, and the boys excitedly sat down. Iris made sure the safety bar was down, and then Amber pressed a button to make the thing come to life._

_It was magical. They went around once before stopping at the top. They held hands and looked around at the city._

_“It’s beautiful,” TJ said._

_“So are you,” Marty replied, grinning at him._

_TJ rolled his eyes. “You’re a dork.”_

_Marty shrugged. “A dork you’re on a date with.”_

_They both glanced down and saw that Amber and Iris weren’t paying attention to them, clearly trying to give them some privacy, something they were severely lacking in their relationship. They had their first kiss up there on that ferris wheel. It was short and awkward, and neither of them knew what they were doing, but in Marty’s opinion, it was perfect._

* * *

Marty knew that Buffy moved back. Gossip spread fast in Shadyside, and when school started up again, sure enough, there she was. He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed that they didn’t have any classes together. Really, he shouldn’t care at all. He was over her. He had a girlfriend now.

But then she called him.

He pulled out his phone as soon as he started walking home. “Iris, she called me.”

“Who? Rachel?”

“No. Buffy. She called me. Today. She said she wants to meet up and talk.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, don’t forget to mention you have a girlfriend.”

“Right. Yeah, of course.”

“Marty?”

“What?”

“Are you sure you can handle being friends with Buffy again?”

“Of course I can. I don’t like her like that anymore. I like Rachel now.”

Iris sighed. “Look, you know I don’t like Rachel that much, but that doesn’t mean I want to see her get hurt. Just… be careful.”

“I will. I promise.”

Except, when he saw Buffy in that bowling alley, clearly in pain but not willing to admit it, something inside of him hurt. And he knew Rachel was right. And Iris was right. He still liked Buffy. He was almost relieved that Rachel was the one who broke up with him.

He showed up at Iris’s house, and he didn’t even have to say anything when she opened the door. She grabbed ice cream from the kitchen and led him to her bedroom. Her mom told them to leave the door open, which they ignored because it had to be a joke. They sat on the bed and ate ice cream together. It was a couple minutes before he spoke. “You were right.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific. I’m right about a lot of things.”

He sighed. “I still like Buffy. And Rachel figured it out after seeing us together for like 30 seconds.” He looked at her. “And she broke up with me.”

“Why were Buffy and Rachel even together?”

“Rachel and I were bowling. Buffy was there with Cyrus. Which she probably shouldn’t have been in the first place because there’s clearly something wrong with her foot, but I guess I’m not allowed to be concerned for my friend’s health.”

Iris gave him a sad smile. “Marty, you’re allowed to be worried about Buffy.”

He nodded. “Yeah…” He hoped she called that doctor.

Iris glanced down nervously. “How is Cyrus, by the way?”

Marty shrugged. “He seemed alright. I think he’s still upset about the whole costume day thing. Buffy wouldn’t tell me a lot, but it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.”

“And?”

“And TJ’s a bitch.”

Iris laughed. “Yeah. I think that’s a prerequisite for being a Kippen.”

Marty snorted and then shook his head. “You know what’s weird though?”

“What?”

“Amber and TJ are like _friends_ with the Good Hair Crew now. I think Amber and Jonah are even dating again.”

Iris looked down. “Yeah… I heard about that.”

“How did that even happen?”

“I have no idea.”

“Do you think they’ve changed?”

“TJ blowing off Cyrus and Amber dating Jonah again doesn’t really sound like they’ve changed to me.”

“Yeah…”

“Besides…” She looked down. “I don’t know if I _can_ believe that they’ve changed.”

“Why not?”

“Because if they’ve really changed, that means that they were always capable of it, but we weren’t worth changing for.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t thought of it like that. Part of him knew that probably wasn’t the best way to think of it, but he could see where she was coming from. And it did hurt. It hurt seeing TJ’s walls break down for Cyrus after having been there to watch him put them up in the first place. It hurt seeing Cyrus sitting on that table in his salt costume, knowing exactly how he felt, and unable to do anything about it. He leaned his head on Iris’s shoulder. “Yeah.”

* * *

Iris lay on the couch, scrolling through Instapic on her phone. Marty had invited her to Andi’s party, but she’d said no. The only person she really knew there was Cyrus, and they still hadn’t talked since they’d broken up. And she really didn’t want to risk running into Amber. So instead she fell down the social media FOMO rabbit hole while her little brother sat on the other side of the couch, watching some dumb kids’ show. Normally, she didn’t mind watching his shows with him, but she was not in the mood today. So instead she scrolled through pictures of the party she wasn’t at, pretending like it wasn’t making her miserable. She knew she shouldn’t care. She wasn’t big on parties anyway, and this was a middle school party. But still. The last time Andi had thrown a party, Amber had still been her friend.

She stopped when she saw a video of TJ standing behind a piano, a huge smile on her face. She felt a pang in her heart. She hadn’t heard him play piano in years. She tapped it without thinking about it and immediately recognized the song. He was soon joined by Cyrus and then Amber and then the rest of their friends. _Holy shit_ . TJ Kippen, ‘Toxic’ TJ Kippen, ‘Scary Basketball Guy’ TJ Kippen, ‘scared to tell his parents he was even friends with Marty let alone that they’d dated for months’ TJ Kippen, was playing _Born This Way_ , a universally recognized gay anthem, at a party in front of dozens of his classmates. She hardly believed her eyes. Or her ears for that matter.

She sat up and texted Marty, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

Iris:

Did I just see TJ playing Born This Way on Instapic or am I hallucinating?

Marty:

oh no, that was real. long story

Iris:

Was that his way of coming out?

Marty:

kind of? but only like lowkey, so don’t tell anyone

Iris:

You know I wouldn’t do that

Besides, who would I tell?

Marty:

fair enough

shit i think Buffy’s coming over here. i’ll call you tomorrow

Iris:

Good luck

Iris refreshed her page and looked through people’s stories. She saw a video of someone in an inflatable T Rex costume dancing, someone who was then revealed to be Andi’s grandmother. Iris thought back to how Andi’s last party had ended, with that same woman screaming at everyone to get out of her house. How much had she missed?

* * *

_TJ saw Amber and Iris doing their makeup in the bathroom. He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. “Where are you guys going?”_

_“A party,” Amber answered, not even taking her eyes away from the mirror._

_TJ had seen people on social media talking about a party one of his classmates, Andi Mack, was throwing tonight. Was it the same one Amber was talking about? “Are you going to a middle school party?”_

_Amber finished putting on her lipstick. “Yep.”_

_“Why?”_

_She looked at him like he was an idiot. “Because Jonah’s going to be there. You know, my boyfriend. I’m not just going to let him go to some girl’s house when I know she likes him._

_TJ nodded slowly, even though something about the way she said that made him uneasy. “Right.”_

_Iris looked at him. “You should come.” She had a look on her face like, ‘Amber’s making me go to a party. Please don’t make me do this alone.’ “It’ll be fun.”_

_“No, thanks.” It wasn’t like he had any other plans, but he would rather do anything else than go to a party he hadn’t been invited to with his older sister who probably also hadn’t actually been invited. He pushed himself away from the door and walked back to his room. He glanced at the math homework that sat unfinished on his desk. Well, almost anything else. He flopped onto his bed and pulled out his phone._

_Some people might think it’s sad to go to a party alone, but Marty didn’t mind. He may not really have any close friends anymore, but he could get along with almost anyone, and he knew there would be people he at least kind of knew there. When he got there, the party was already in full swing, music blaring and people having fun._

_He wasn’t expecting to see Amber and Iris there, considering they were in high school now, but he managed to push down the feelings that brought up and avoid them without too much trouble. (The way Amber humiliated Andi later made him a bit sick though.)_

_He was getting a snack when he saw a cute girl. He was pretty sure he recognized her from around school, but he didn’t think he’d ever talked to her before. He walked up to her with a confident smile on his face. “Do I know you?”_

_She looked at him with a look in her eyes like she couldn’t believe he’d had the audacity to speak to her. He supposed it was supposed to be intimidating, but he’d grown up with Amber; she’d have to try a lot harder than that. “I think you would know if you knew me.” She was right of course. There was know way he’d ever be able to forget her._


	2. Chapter 2

The second Kira left the party, TJ felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Part of him wanted to go talk to Cyrus immediately, but he seemed like he was having fun with his friends. Besides, TJ had been more thrown off than he’d like to admit by Kira’s comment about picking between them. He decided to make his way over to the snack table before trying to get Cyrus alone. Chocolate would help, right?

As he reached for the last chocolate cupcake, someone else reached for it at the same time. Both of them pulled back their hands and started apologize, talking over each other. “Sorry, you can-” He looked up and saw who it was. Marty. “Oh. Um. You can have it.” He gestured awkwardly toward the cupcake.

“Thanks.” Marty grabbed the cupcake and put it on his plate, looking almost as uncomfortable as TJ felt.

They stood there in a silence that went on just a moment too long. TJ felt like he should say something. “Um…” Well, TJ supposed that he had already had to apologize to the rest of Cyrus’s friends (even Jonah, and he hadn’t even realized they guy had had a problem with him), so it was probably about time he apologized to Marty, too. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Marty gave him a curious look. “For what?” Not like he doubted that TJ had anything to apologize for. TJ had so many things to apologize for that Marty probably needed him to specify which one he was talking about, which. Fair.

Because honestly, what wasn’t TJ sorry for? He glanced down for a second before looking back up at Marty. “For everything.” He shrugged. “I was a jerk.” Marty nodded, but didn’t say anything. He looked like he was waiting for TJ to go on, so he did. “And you were right.”

“About what?”

“A lot of things. For one, you were right about Reed. He’s an idiot.”

Marty snorted. “What made you finally come to your senses about that?”

“It’s… a long story.” He shook his head. “But uh… yeah, I’m sorry.” He didn’t really know what else to say. He just hoped Marty got it.

Marty nodded. “Me too.”

“What are  _ you _ sorry for?”

He shrugged. “You aren’t the only one who was a jerk. We were dumb kids.” _‘Kids.’_ _Yeah, a whole two years ago. But a lot’s happened in those two years, I guess._

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

Marty nodded and smiled that goofy smile that TJ hadn’t even realized he’d missed. “Yeah, I guess.”

TJ nodded and laughed in relief. “So.. do you think we could maybe be friends again?” He looked over at where Cyrus and Buffy were dancing together. “If nothing else, at least for their sake?”

Marty followed his gaze and watched them for a second before turning back to TJ. “Yeah, I guess I could do that.”

They smiled at each other before turning back to the dance floor.

After a second, Marty said, “So… Cyrus, huh?”

TJ felt his face heat up, but he refused to acknowledge it. “So… Buffy, huh?”

Marty laughed. “Ok, fair enough. So are you going to do anything about it?”

“Are you?”

“I asked you first.”

TJ rolled his eyes. “What am I supposed to do?”

Marty shrugged. “I don’t know. Cyrus seems like the type who would like a big romantic gesture.”

TJ couldn’t really argue with that. There was just one problem. “It’s kind of hard to do a big romantic gesture from inside the closet.”

Marty gave him a sad look, but it was gone as soon as it arrived. He shrugged. “You could try something that’s subtle enough that only other queer people would get it.”

“Like what?”

Marty looked around the room. A mischievous smile spread across his face. TJ followed his gaze across the room to the stage.  _ Oh no _ . He had a feeling he knew what Marty was thinking. “Do you still play the piano?”

“Yeah…”

Marty just gave him a Look.

TJ shook his head. “That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“I think we both know that’s not true.” And, yeah, it wasn’t. Not by a long shot.

“What would I even play?”

Marty smiled smugly, knowing that TJ was had already given in. “Something that would piss off your dad.”

_ “I heard the lesbians down the street adopted a kid,” TJ’s dad commented one night over dinner. His mom shook her head disapprovingly. _

_ “What’s a lesbian?” TJ’s sister Amber asked. _

_ “Nothing you need to worry about, dear,” their mom reassured her. _

_ “Yeah, I don’t want you two getting involved with that kid. I’m sure they’re gonna be nothing but trouble.” _

_ Amber and TJ nodded obediently but shared a look across the table, and TJ knew that they were both thinking the same thing: they had to meet this kid. _

Maybe the song he picked didn’t end up being that subtle, but TJ found himself not caring as much as he thought he would. After stepping down from the stage, the group of friends dispersed amongst the crowd, and Bex went back to DJ-ing. TJ saw Marty back near the snack table talking to Buffy not too long after that and gave him a small smile before stepping outside to get some air. Cyrus came outside a few minutes later, and what followed was probably one of the most terrifying but amazing things that had ever happened in TJ’s short life.

The two of them spent the rest of the evening sitting on that bench and talking, as if the rest of the party didn’t exist. They never let go of each other’s hands. But of course, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, Amber texted TJ, telling him to meet her out front so they could walk home together. He hugged Cyrus goodbye and promised to text him later. He walked inside, stopping for a second to look back at him just before he opened the door. He walked through the house, saying goodbye to Andi, Buffy, and Jonah as he passed by them. From the looks Buffy and Andi gave him, he knew that they knew that Something had happened with him and Cyrus, but he was surprised to find that he didn’t really care.

He stepped back outside, and wasn’t surprised that Amber wasn’t there yet. But someone else was. Marty. Again.

“Hey.” TJ waved at him.

Marty smiled and waved back. “Hey.” He turned to face him more fully. “So…”

TJ rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a smile. “It went well.”

“That’s it?”

TJ shrugged. “I don’t know. What about you and Buffy?”

“It went well.”

They both laughed. They heard the front door open, and they both stopped and turned to see who it was. Amber walked up to TJ, not even sparing Marty a look. “You ready to go?”

TJ nodded. “Yep.”

“Wait, are you guys walking?” Marty asked.

Amber looked at him like she couldn’t care less what he had to say. “Yeah. So?”

Marty shrugged. “Do you want a ride? My mom’s almost here.”

“No thanks. We’re good.”

She started to walk away, but TJ stopped her. “Amber, chill. We’re good.”

She gave him a confused look. “You’re “good?”” TJ could hear the air quotes in her voice, even though she didn’t actually do them.

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

She took a step closer to TJ. “Since when?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know. Like an hour ago?”

She raised her eyebrow at him. “You two haven’t talked in what? Two years? And now suddenly you’re friends again? How does that even happen?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t know. We talked. And we’re good now. Besides, it’s cold out, and it’s a long walk home.”

There was a pause as she stared at him, and he briefly felt like she was reading his mind. She turned to Marty and gave him the same look. She took a step closer to him. “Fine. But just because he forgives you, doesn’t mean I do.”

Marty just nodded slowly. Before anyone could say anything else, a familiar old pickup rolled into the driveway, and Jessie stepped out of the driver’s seat. TJ suddenly felt nervous. What if Marty’s moms didn’t forgive him? After all, they were even more protective of Marty than Amber was of TJ, and everything had definitely been more his fault than Marty’s, and he could only imagine what Marty had told them about him.

She stepped up to Marty and put her hand on his arm as she asked, “How was the party? Are you ready to go?”'

Marty nodded. “It was good. And uh, can we give TJ and Amber a ride home?”

She looked over at the Kippens and blinked a couple times, as if not quite believing what she was seeing. She walked up to them and looked between them and Marty. “So, are you guys friends again?” She sounded hopeful, which made TJ feel a bit better as he nodded. She pulled them both into a hug, which was slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time comforting? Her familiar smell made him weirdly emotional. He hadn’t ever registered what she smelled like before, and he couldn’t describe it, but it hit him like a truck. As she pulled away from them, she kept a hand on each of their arms. “You’re so tall now. When did that happen?”

“Mom,” Marty whined.

She shook her head. “Sorry, sorry. Get in.” She gestured to the pickup. “It’s just been so long.” They all got into the pickup, which brought another wave of nostalgia crashing down on TJ. On top of everything else that had happened that night, it was almost overwhelming. As the pickup pulled out of the driveway, he looked around the backseat and tuned out everything Marty and his mom were saying. He remembered sitting in this same seat as a kid, with Amber and Marty and Iris all sitting there next to him: laughing, playing games, drawing, eating snacks, dancing and singing along to music (mostly  _ High School Musical _ , not that anyone needs to know that), Amber insisting on all of them doing each other’s hair way back when Marty’s was still long, the four of them sleeping with their heads rested on each other’s shoulders. TJ looked down at the door where they had written their initials in Sharpie when they were seven and then crossed out and rewrote Marty’s three years later. He traced his fingers over the letters: AJK, TJK, MJFP, IJG. He remembered Marty picking a middle name that started with a ‘J’ just because he wanted to feel "included” with the other three.

He turned toward the front seat and tuned back into the conversation. “-should catch up sometime.” Jessie turned toward the backseat for a second as they were stopped at a stop sign.

TJ looked over at Amber, who looked like she definitely did not want to be here right now. He turned back toward the front, where Jessie had already turned back to the road to start driving again, only to be immediately replaced by her son, who was looking at them expectantly. TJ shrugged. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” He could feel Amber glaring at him, but he refused to look at her. Marty smiled at him.

“I’d love to, but I’m really busy with work,” Amber lied, with an obviously fake smile on her face.

If Jessie could tell Amber was lying, she didn’t say anything about it as she glanced at them through the mirror. “Well, I’m sure Audrey would love to see you both. And I know Val misses you.” He caught a slightly guilty look cross Amber’s face as she looked down, but she didn’t say anything else.

_ TJ, Marty, Amber, and Iris were playing at the park near Iris’s house when they heard a noise coming from a bush. TJ and Marty insisted on investigating it, but when it came down to it, neither of them wanted to do the actual investigating. Amber, a whole two years older and much braver than the boys (and probably trying to impress Iris), just rolled her eyes and walked right up to the bush to pull back some of the branches. She gasped and kneeled down to get a better look. The others looked over her shoulders to see what it was. A small black kitten. Amber made Marty run to get his moms, and it took the six of them a couple of hours to finally get the cat out and take it to the nearest vet. _

_ By the end of the day, they had all fallen in love with the cat, whom Amber had named Val “Because we found her on Valentine’s Day, obviously.” The others never stood a chance trying to argue with her. TJ and Amber knew their parents would never let them keep a cat at their house, and Iris was worried she wouldn’t get along with Lemon, so Marty kept her at his house. But really she belonged to all of them. At least, she did. Amber once joked that Marty had gotten custody of her in the “divorce.” At the time, TJ didn’t think it was very funny. _

Jessie parked in front of the Kippens’ house, and TJ thanked her as they got out of the pickup. When they got inside, Amber went directly to her room, leaving TJ to answer their mom’s questions about the party. He gave her a vague answer about it being fun before following Amber into her room.

“What’s your deal, Amber?”

“My deal? You’re the one who’s suddenly friends with Marty of all people.”

“Why do you care? I’m the one he dumped, not you.”

“Maybe it’s not just about you, TJ. He hurt us. All of us. He ghosted us for  _ two years _ . He just decided to pretend like we didn’t even exist, and I didn’t get a say in that. We were best friends for  _ seven years _ , and he just threw that away. Over what? Some stupid fight? And you still won’t tell me what that was even about!” TJ looked down. Amber got a little quieter as she continued, “And then, you and I stopped talking as much, and then Iris…" She shook her head. "I spent most of my first year of high school completely alone, TJ. Do you know what that’s like?”

He looked back up at her. “Yeah. I do. And you know what? That’s on us. It’s not Marty’s fault we both pushed all our friends away, Amber. Marty and I made up. Deal with it. And just for the record, you’re not the only one who misses Iris.”

He turned and left her room, going across the hall to his own and closing his door behind him. He sat on his bed and pulled out his phone, seeing that he had two notifications: a text from Cyrus and a text from Buffy. He read them both and opened the one from Buffy first.

Buffy:

Why did Marty just ask me for your number? Since when do you two know each other?

TJ:

it’s a long story

Buffy:

Ok, but do you want me to give it to him?

TJ:

yeah, go ahead

She didn’t respond, so he opened the text from Cyrus, unable to help a smile from forming on his face.

Cyrus:

hi

TJ:

hi

Cyrus:

tonight was fun

TJ:

yeah

Cyrus:

would you maybe want to hang out tomorrow?

we’re all going to the spoon

TJ:

that sounds like fun

Cyrus:

cool

TJ:

cool

A notification appeared on his screen. It was a text from an unknown number. He opened it and saw a blurry picture of a black cat, immediately followed by a message. He added Marty to his contacts, with the picture of Val as the contact picture, before he responded to the text.

Marty:

Val wants to see you

maybe tomorrow? before we meet the ghc at the spoon?

TJ:

ok, but she’s the only reason i’m coming over

i should have fought for custody in the divorce

_ Because ok, maybe that joke is funny  _ now _. _

Marty:

ha ha. like you stood a chance. my mom’s a lawyer, remember?

TJ:

yeah, whatever.

what time should i be there?

Marty:

noon? don’t be late

TJ:

you know i will be

Marty:

one can dream

* * *

After two years of taking the long way to school to avoid walking by Marty’s house, it was weird to be there again. Not much had changed. He hesitated for a second before knocking on the door. Last time he’d stood in this exact spot… He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that right now.

Marty opened the door. “You’re early!”

TJ cocked his head to the side. He was pretty sure it had been after noon when he’d left his house, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d misread a clock. “I’m late.”

Marty smiled at him. “Technically, but I wasn’t actually expecting you until 12:30. So you are exactly…” He turned his head and craned his neck slightly, so he could see into the kitchen. “Four minutes early.”

TJ shook his head in amusement. Marty opened the door wider and let TJ in, closing the door behind him. “So what time are we supposed to meet everyone at The Spoon?”

“1.”

“Is it actually 1:30?” He was pretty sure Cyrus had said 1:30.

“Maybe.”

TJ laughed and shook his head again.

“Is that TJ Kippen I hear?”

TJ looked over to see Marty’s mom step out of the kitchen. “Hi, Audrey.”

She smiled at him. “And here I thought these two were pulling my leg when they told me you two had made up. Come here.” She pulled him into a hug. When she let go, she asked. “Have you eaten?”

Marty answered for him. “We’re about to go to The Spoon.”

“Ok well, let us know if you need anything.” She smiled at TJ one last time before disappearing back into the kitchen.

TJ felt something touch his ankle and looked down to see Val. He smiled and leaned down to pet her. She meowed at him and then walked away. TJ stood up and watched her walk away, feeling offended. Marty laughed, and TJ turned to glare at him.

He rolled his eyes and hit TJ lightly on the arm. “Come on.”

They followed Val into the living room and sat on the floor. Marty got her to come back over and spent the next several minutes trying to convince her to not be mad at TJ for disappearing for two years. It went about as well as TJ trying to convince Amber not to be mad at Marty the night before. Except, you know, she’s a cat. TJ wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.

TJ looked around the room. Pretty much everything was exactly the same as he remembered. There was a new cat tree in the corner, and a few of the pictures on the wall were new, but otherwise, nothing had changed. He saw the pictures from Jessie and Audrey’s wedding and smiled to himself at the memory of that day. July 26, 2015. TJ wasn’t usually good with dates, but he didn’t think he could forget that one.

_ TJ walked out of the bathroom after having changed into his nice clothes. They’d told their parents they were just hanging out with Iris that day, so they had to get ready at Marty’s house. He walked down the hall and knocked lightly on Marty’s door where the other three were getting ready. Iris told him to come in, so he did. Iris was finishing her makeup in the mirror above the dresser while Amber did Marty’s hair. The two girls were wearing dresses they’d bought together the week before, but Marty had insisted on wearing a suit, which in retrospect made a lot more sense. But no one had thought anything of it at the time because Jessie was also wearing a suit. _

_ Iris finished her makeup and turned around to tie TJ’s tie, and when Amber finished Marty’s hair, she tied his, too. When Marty stood up and turned around, TJ was almost speechless. He was beautiful? Handsome? Yeah, handsome felt right. _

_ TJ was already pretty sure he liked Marty, but it was his first crush, and he didn’t know how to handle it. Amber teased him about how she’d called it forever ago, but that just made him not want it to be true. But here he was. _

_ Amber pulled them all together for a quick selfie before it was time to go downstairs for the ceremony. It was beautiful, especially considering the whole thing had been pulled together in a month and four ten- and twelve-year-olds had helped make the decorations. There weren’t a ton of people there; neither bride had a lot of extended family, at least not that they were close to apparently, but the backyard felt full. And even though TJ barely knew what love was, he knew that he’d never seen a couple as in love as Marty’s moms. _

_ After the ceremony, there was food and music and dancing. TJ didn’t care if it was the only wedding he’d ever been to, he was sure it was the best wedding ever. He danced with Marty and with Iris and even with his sister and with the brides. The whole thing felt like something out of a fairytale he pretended not to like but secretly loved. _

TJ looked down when he felt Val staring at him. He held out his hand to her. She hesitantly approached him. He tried petting her. This time, she stayed. He and Marty grinned at each other, and then TJ looked back at her. “Hi, Val.”  _ Guess there’s still one more apology to make after all _ . “I’m sorry I left you. I didn’t want to. I was going through some stuff, and I took it out on your dad, and you got caught in the crossfire. But I’m here now, and I promise to be better.” She came closer to him. “I missed you.” She climbed into his lap and rubbed her head against his chest. He knew she was a cat, but sometimes he swore she could understand him. He smiled as he continued to pet her.

“This might be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, but we gotta go if we don’t want to be late.”

TJ looked up. He’d almost forgotten Marty was there. He carefully lifted Val off his lap, promising he’d be back soon, before he put her back down and stood up. They said goodbye to Marty’s moms and walked down to The Spoon.

They sat in the booth with their friends, Marty next to Buffy and TJ next to Cyrus, Jonah and Andi in between the two couples. Amber came over and put their food on the table, but didn’t stick around long or make conversation. TJ hoped it was just cause she was busy, but there weren’t exactly a ton of other customers in the diner. He knew she was still mad from last night.  _ Great _ .

Buffy immediately took the pickles off her burger and put them on Marty’s but then frowned. “Where’s your tomato?”

Marty looked down and then up at TJ and then over at Amber on the other side of the diner. “I guess I didn’t get one.” He turned to TJ, looking confused. “Did we even order?”

TJ just shrugged. “I never order when Amber’s working.”

Marty turned to Buffy. “Did you order for me?”

Buffy shook her head. “You didn’t ask me to.”

Marty looked back at Amber. “Huh.” He turned back to TJ. “Does this mean she’s not mad at me anymore?”

TJ took one of Marty’s fries. “I wouldn’t count on that. Sure, she remembered you don’t like tomatoes, but she probably also, like, spit on it or something.”

Marty just shrugged and started putting ketchup on his burger. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever eaten.” Or the first time he’s swapped spit with a Kippen.

“Gross,” Buffy said, wrinkling her nose.

“Wait, back up,” Cyrus said. “Why is Amber mad at you? I didn’t think you two even knew each other.”

“Yeah, did something happen at the party last night?” Andi asked.

Marty and TJ shared a look. “Do you wanna tell them?” Marty asked.

TJ shrugged. Might as well. “Marty and I used to date.”

Buffy and Cyrus both started choking on their baby taters. “What?” Cyrus asked.

Buffy turned to Marty. “You said that TJ didn’t even know you existed.”

“Well, he was acting like he didn’t know I existed.”

TJ winced. “It wasn’t exactly a very amicable breakup.”

“Well, whose fault is that?” Marty asked, but he didn’t sound angry. More amused than anything else.

“I seem to remember you being the one who threw something at me.”

“I remember you being the one who-”

“Boys,” Buffy cut them off. “Please, explain. How on Earth did you two end up dating?”

“I don’t know. I think I can see it,” Cyrus said. Buffy gave him a look. “What? You and TJ have a lot in common.”

TJ and Buffy both pretended to gag at the very idea that they had anything in common.

Marty just rolled his eyes. “I don’t like the implication that I have a type, Cyrus. Buffy is definitely a step up from TJ.”

“Hey!”

Marty ignored TJ and went on. “But anyway, TJ and I have been friends since we were like five.”

TJ nodded. “It’s true.” He put his hand over his heart and looked off into the distance. “I still remember the day my parents sat me and Amber down and told us that the lesbians down the street had adopted a kid and we were not to talk to them under any circumstances.” He looked back at the others with a smirk. “So of course Amber and I decided in that moment that we had to be friends with that kid.”

Marty pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “I love that story. I still can’t believe your parents were so worried that my moms would turn you gay that they didn’t consider the possibilty that it would be me who’d turn you gay.”

He and TJ both laughed.

Buffy shook her head. “Ok, while I take a minute to process  _ that _ , what does any of this have to do with why Amber’s mad at you?”

“She’s an overprotective older sister,” Marty answered at the same time TJ said, “He took her cat.”

From the looks on everyone’s faces, this obviously did not clear anything up.

“Ok, protective sibling thing I can kind of get,” Buffy said. “But what the hell do you mean Marty took her cat?”

Marty looked at TJ. “Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about. Val is my cat.”

“She may live at your house, but we all know Amber was her favorite. And when you got custody of her in the divorce,” Marty snorted, “Amber was way more pissed than I was.” TJ knew there was more to it than that. He knew Amber was upset about losing Marty as a friend, about losing Marty’s moms as the only adult queer role models in her life, about losing Iris a year later. But it wasn’t TJ’s place to bring up any of that.

Marty nodded. “First of all, I don’t know what you’re on about because we all know Iris is her favorite. But if Amber wants to come over and see Val, I’m not gonna stop her. But she’s still my cat.”

TJ shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

Buffy shook her head as she stared at them, as if not quite believing anything she was hearing.

Marty looked at her and said, “You know what, I’m gonna go get you extra napkins.”

TJ put his hand out to stop him, looking over at Amber, who was standing behind the counter, pointedly not looking at them. “Maybe I should do that.”

Marty nodded, and sat back in his seat. TJ got up and gabbed some napkins. He tossed them on the table in front of Buffy as he sat down.

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” Marty asked.

TJ glanced back at her and then looked at Marty. “Even Amber can’t hold a grudge forever.” Marty nodded sadly. “Hey, have you talked to Iris at all since… you know, everything?”

Marty looked back up at him, a weird expression on his face. “Why?”

TJ shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe if they made up, Amber would see she’s being ridiculous and get over being mad at you?”

Marty scoffed. “As if Amber ever listened to Iris.”

TJ was taken aback. “What are you talking about? Iris was the only person Amber listened to.”

Marty raised his eyebrow. “Amber treated Iris like shit, and you know it. And I don’t think Iris is going to forgive her this time.”

TJ was confused. He still had no idea what had really happened between the two girls, but they’d always seemed to adore each other. He decided to focus on the other thing Marty had implied. “So you have talked to Iris.”

Marty crossed his arms and leaned back. TJ could tell he was getting defensive. “Yeah, we formed a little ‘got our hearts broken by the Kippens’ club. Thought about asking Cyrus to join after costume day.”

The table was dead silent. After a second, TJ said quietly, “That was a low blow.”

“Yeah, well, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe Iris was right.” He stood up. “Maybe it doesn’t matter that you’ve changed because you still decided we weren’t worth changing for.” He walked away, leaving TJ sitting there in shock. No one else said anything.

Cyrus squeezed TJ’s hand. “Are you ok?”

Maybe things weren’t as good between them as he’d thought. Or maybe it wasn’t really about that. TJ looked over at Amber. She had an expression on her face like she was torn between asking him if he was ok and telling him ‘I told you so.’ He nodded. “Yeah… But what the hell happened between those two?”

* * *

“I don’t want to talk about this, TJ.”

“Too bad. We’re talking about it.”

“I told you it was a bad idea to try to be friends with Marty again.”

“Marty is dating Buffy. I’m dating Cyrus. Cyrus and Buffy are best friends. What the fuck do you suggest we do?”

“That’s not my problem.”

“Yes, it is. Because whatever happened between you and Iris is clearly affecting Marty just like what happened between us is affecting you.”

“Why did you and Marty break up?”

“We’re talking about you and Iris. Not me and Marty.”

“TJ.”

He sighed and sat down on her bed. “Fine. I was a jerk. You know that. It was a long time coming.” He ran his hands through his hair as he thought of how to say it. It’s not like there was just one reason they’d broken up. It was just a mess. “I don’t know. He finally called me on my shit and dumped me. And then never spoke to me again. At least, not until Andi’s party.” He didn’t know what else she wanted him to say.

Amber sighed and sat next to him. “Yeah… I guess that’s kind of what happened with me and Iris, too.”

TJ looked down. “I thought he forgave me. But then…”

“Forgiveness isn’t always a straight line.”

TJ snorted. “Nothing about me is straight.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. This stuff is complicated.”

TJ nodded. “Yeah…”

Amber sighed. “Look. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. This whole thing is more our fault than theirs. So… if you can can somehow get Marty and Iris to be willing be in the same room as me, I’ll try to talk to them.

TJ nodded. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing it for you.” She looked down. “I miss her, too.”

* * *

Cyrus:

I probably shouldn’t be telling you this

but andi made #teamtyrus t-shirts in case things don’t go well today

TJ:

tyrus?

Cyrus:

yeah, that’s our couple name

marty and buffy is obviously muffy

TJ:

did andi make them shirts too?

Cyrus: …

I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say.

but I hope things go well

“What are you laughing at?”

TJ looked up at Amber and saw that they were already at Marty’s house. He sent Cyrus one last text and put his phone away. “Just Cyrus. You ready?”

Amber shrugged. “Nope.” She reached out and knocked on the door.

Marty opened the door almost immediately, like he’d been waiting for them. They followed him into the living room, where Iris was sitting on the couch with Val in her lap. She looked up at them, an unreadable expression on her face. It was weird seeing her again, especially here, after all this time.

Marty tried to break the awkward silence. “So…” He looked around. “Um, do you guys want to sit?”

Amber sat down on the loveseat, so TJ sat next to her, and Marty sat next to Iris.

“So…” TJ repeated.

Iris and Marty looked at TJ and Amber, and TJ realized they were supposed to talk first.  _ Right _ . He looked at Amber.

She took a deep breath and finally looked at Iris. “I’m sorry.”

Iris nodded, still looking at Amber, expecting her to go on.

Amber nodded. “I was a bad friend. I was a jerk. To everyone, but especially to you. You deserve better. And I’m trying to do better. To be better. But… I understand if you don’t want to be my friend again. I just want you to know that I am sorry.”

Iris nodded and looked at Marty.

Marty nodded. “Well, as far as apologies go, I’ve heard worse.”

Iris looked down at Val. “What do you think?”

Val looked up at her and then around the room. She stood up and leapt over to the loveseat, walking over TJ and stopping in front of Amber. Amber started petting her, and she moved onto her lap. Amber smiled down at her, and if her eyes were a little watery, TJ decided not to say anything. He looked back at Iris, who was also smiling softly. She had that same look in her eyes she always used to give Amber, but now TJ knew what it was. He was pretty sure it was the same look he gave Cyrus.

“I think I can forgive you.” Amber looked up at Iris’s words, surprise on her face. “But I don’t think we can go back to the way we used to be.”

Amber nodded, looking a little sad. “Right. Of course.”

“It’s just, if we’re going to be friends, I’m going to need you to actually be a friend. And it might be a while before I can trust you again.”

Amber nodded again. “Yeah, I get that. And whatever you need, whatever I can do to earn that trust back, I’ll do it. I… I miss you.”

Iris just nodded, and suddenly the room felt a whole lot less tense.

TJ looked at Marty. “Hey man, I’m sorry, too.”

Marty shook his head. “You already apologized. I’m sorry for bringing up the whole costume day thing at The Spoon the other day.”

TJ looked down. “You were right though. I did hurt Cyrus.”

“Yeah, but that’s between you two. It’s none of my business. And clearly he’s forgiven you.”

“Yeah…”

“TJ.” He looked up at Marty. “You’ve got to forgive yourself. I don’t know what happened, but you gotta stop beating yourself up about it.”

TJ nodded and looked down. “Kira was blackmailing me.”

“What?” TJ looked at Iris in surprise. He didn’t think he’d ever heard her sound so angry. And Marty looked just as pissed.

TJ shrugged. “Well, maybe not blackmail exactly, but she definitely implied that if I didn’t do the costume with her, people would find out that I’m gay.”

“TJ, you just defined the word blackmail,” Iris said.

“Oh.”

“Did you tell anyone?” She asked.

TJ shook his head. “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. And I already told her to leave me alone. Kira is out of my life.”

“Are you sure?” Marty asked.

TJ nodded. “Positive. Besides, I don’t care anymore if people find out. I’m done caring what people think of me.”

“You really have changed,” Iris said softly.

TJ shrugged. “Yeah… He looked around at the other three. “I think we all have.”

Later TJ went to the bathroom, which was maybe a weird place to be nostalgic, but maybe it was just that kind of day. He thought back to the day Amber had tried cutting Marty’s hair right after he’d come out to them.

_ TJ and Iris sat on the counter together, watching the other two and eating cookies. Marty was sitting on the toilet with the lid down, and Amber was standing above him holding scissors. TJ could tell Iris thought this was a bad idea, but Marty had seemed so excited when Amber had suggested it, so no one dared argue. _

_ It was a disaster of course, and Jessie had walked in about halfway through. She crossed her arms. “What is going on here?” _

_ They all stared at her like deer caught in headlights. “Um,” Amber started. _

_ “Science experiment?” Marty tried. _

_ Jessie raised her eyebrow and held out her hand. Amber gave her the scissors and moved out of the way. Jessie stood in front of Marty. “Ok, what’s really going on here?” _

_ Marty shrugged. “I wanted to cut my hair short.” _

_ “Well, why didn’t you just ask us? We could have taken you somewhere, or heck, I could have done it for you. I’ve cut your mom’s hair before.” _

_ Marty just looked down, not saying anything. Jessie sighed and turned to the other three. “Kids, could you give us a minute?” _

_ They all nodded and hurried out of the room, trying to give Marty reassuring looks before they closed the door. _

_ Marty came out of the bathroom twenty minutes late with short hair and a small smile on his face. It was still a little messy, but it was leagues better than whatever Amber had been doing, and there was no mistaking that it was a boy’s haircut. _

_ Jessie sent him off to find a broom and then turned to the others. “So, I take it you it you three knew?” They all nodded. “Well, thank you for trying to be supportive, but please never put scissors near my son’s head again.” They all nodded again. She put her hands on her hips and looked up at the banner on the wall that said ‘no boys allowed’ that had been up there as long as TJ could remember. Jessie had told them that one of their friends had gotten it for them as a joke when they’d first moved into the house. “Hm, we should probably take that down, huh. I guess it hasn’t been true for a while.” _

_ Amber put her hand up a little bit, a small smile on her face. “Actually, I think I have an idea.” _

TJ walked back into the living room and looked up at that same banner that now said, ‘son boy allowed.’ Amber had been pretty proud of herself for coming up with that. He smiled to himself as he looked at Marty, Amber, and Iris. Sure things were complicated now, and they had a lot of work to do to make up for much they’d fucked up in the past, but he knew they all loved each other, and that was one thing that wouldn’t change. He walked over and sat back down next to his sister to find that the three of them were debating which  _ High School Musical _ movie was the best. Ok, maybe two things never changed.

“Oh, the second one for sure,” TJ said.

“Thank you!” Iris said, throwing her hands up.

Marty shook his head. “Nah, the first one’s the best. It’s a classic. It’s where it all started. Besides, we all know it’s a metaphor for bisexuality.”

Amber shook her head. “You’re all wrong. The third one’s the best. It has the best music, the best choreography, the best production value.”

“First of all, the second one has the best music,” TJ argued. “The third one has like two good songs. Second of all, who cares about production value? The plot of the third movie doesn’t make any sense! And they tried to make Ryan and Kelsi straight. It’s bad writing.”

This continued on like this until Marty’s moms came home. TJ heard the door open and glanced over to see them watching them, matching soft smiles on their faces. Jessie winked at him, and then the two of them snuck into the kitchen. TJ pulled out his phone to text Cyrus.

TJ:

i don’t think those t shirts will be necessary

Cyrus:

oh good

is it bad that I kind of want one anyway?

TJ laughed to himself, catching the attention of the others, who immediately started teasing him relentlessly for texting his “boyfriend.” TJ didn’t know if Cyrus was his boyfriend yet, but he could get used to this. Not just dating Cyrus (well, that too), but being friends with Amber and Marty and Iris again, arguing about  _ High School Musical _ and teasing each other about the people they liked. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the little things like that

* * *

TJ was supposed to be cleaning his room, and he had asked Marty and Jonah to come over to keep him company. (For some reason, none of their other friends had taken him up on the offer.) Naturally, not much cleaning was actually going on. Marty had given up entirely and was lying on the floor. TJ was in his closet looking through old clothes, and Jonah was digging stuff out from under the bed.

“Hey, what’s this?”

At the sound of Jonah’s voice, TJ dropped the old football jersey he was holding and stuck his head out of the closet. Jonah was holding a small box covered in Christmas-themed wrapping paper. Marty sat up and looked at it too. It took TJ a second to recognize it. He hadn’t seen it in years. (Hey, he didn’t clean his room very often. Sue him.)

Marty looked at TJ. “Is that…” TJ nodded. “You never even opened it?”

TJ shrugged. “Well, after you threw it at my head, I wasn’t very interested in finding out what it was.” 

“But you kept it?”

TJ just shrugged.

_ TJ had to get out of this house. He’d always liked Christmas, but this year, instead of being full of fun presents and too much food, it was full of nothing but stress. His parents were fighting. They’d been doing that a lot lately. Amber had already escaped to her room, but he didn’t think being trapped in his bedroom would be any better than being trapped in the living room with his parents. So he left. He just walked out the front door. And his parents didn’t even fucking notice. _

_ He went to Marty’s house automatically. It was only a couple blocks down the street, and over the years, he’d spent more time there than at his own house. Well, maybe not as much lately. Things had been… not great between them the last couple months. Ever since he’d joined the basketball team, he’d been too busy to hang out with Marty. And it wasn’t like it was his fault that Marty hadn’t made the team too. Or that they couldn’t hang out in public. At least, not in the way Marty wanted them too. No, the fault there laid with TJ’s parents. _

_ He shook that thought out of his head. He’d left his house to get away from his parents. He didn’t want to think about that now. He just wanted to spend Christmas with his boyfriend. Was that really so much to ask? _

_ Apparently, it was. He knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, Marty answered it. He didn’t look happy. _

_ TJ waved at him. “Hey.” _

_ Marty crossed his arms. “What do you want?” _

_ TJ was confused. “Can’t a guy come see his boyfriend?” _

_ Marty attempted to raise his eyebrow. It wasn’t very effective, but TJ got the idea. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen mine in a while. He’s been spending a lot of time with his new friends.” _

_ “Not a lot. Some.” _

_ “Most of. And God, what do you even see in those guys, TJ. They’re jerks.” _

_ “They’re my friends.” _

_ “I know you’ve heard the things they’ve said.” There was an unspoken ‘about me.’ _

_ TJ felt guilty, but he pushed it down, let it turn into anger inside of him. “They’re my team. What am I supposed to do?” _

_ “Call them out. Not hang out with them. Literally anything other than what you’re doing.” _

_ “I don’t want them to think-” _

_ “That you’re gay?” TJ looked down. “Yeah, some of us don’t have as much say in the matter. And I know I can’t make you come out, but that doesn’t mean I have to stand by and let you drag me back into the closet with you. And I deserve better than to be with someone who can’t even stand up to his so-called ‘friends.’” _

_ “What are you saying?” _

_ “I’m saying I’m done.” He grabbed something from the table by the door and threw it at TJ. “Merry Christmas.” He closed the door. _

_ TJ looked down at the thing Marty had thrown and picked it up. _

“What is it?” Jonah asked.

“I don’t even remember,” Marty answered, taking it from Jonah. He tossed it to TJ, who caught it this time. “You should open it.”

TJ shrugged and sat down on the floor with Marty and Jonah. He carefully removed the wrapping paper and opened the box. He laughed when he saw what was inside.

“Well, what is it?” Jonah asked again.

TJ showed it to them. It was a button with a rainbow colored basketball on it. Marty nodded slowly. “Oh yeah. I remember that now. I had to custom order it, you ungrateful thot.” He shoved TJ playfully.

TJ shook his head affectionately and looked at Marty. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.”

TJ looked around the room, which was messier than it had been when they started. “We suck at cleaning though.” The other two just laughed. Maybe he should have tried harder to get Cyrus and Andi to help instead.  _ Oh well. _ He took the button out of the box and found his backpack buried under some stuff on the floor. He put the button on the backpack, which he then put back on the floor next to his desk.  _ Yeah, that’s enough cleaning for one day. _

* * *

_ “That’s them,” Amber told him, as they saw a woman a little older than their mom and a kid about TJ’s age drawing with chalk in their driveway. TJ was pretty sure he’d seen the woman around the neighborhood before, but not the kid. _

_ “Are you sure?” _

_ She just gave him a look and then started walking toward them. He had no choice but to follow. She marched right up to them, with all the confidence a seven-year-old could muster, and introduced herself and TJ to them. _

_ The woman, Jessie, just smiled at them and introduced herself and Marty. Marty was quiet, at least back then. But Jessie invited Amber and TJ to stay and draw with them. Audrey came out a little while later and introduced herself as she joining them. They stayed there until around supper time when Amber decided they should get home. She’d done most of the talking (Marty hadn’t said a word the whole time), but TJ didn’t mind. They went over there almost everyday after that, and once they finally got Marty talking, they couldn’t get him to stop. TJ didn’t mind that either. _

* * *

“Hey, TJ?”

“Yeah?”

They were both lying on the floor of Marty’s living room. Val was laying on TJ’s stomach, purring as he pet her.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.”

“Shut up.”

TJ looked at him. “Sorry. What’s up?”

Marty wasn’t looking at him. “How come Cyrus was able to get through to you, and I wasn’t?”

Oh.  _ ‘Maybe it doesn’t matter that you’ve changed because you still decided we weren’t worth changing for.’ _ He wondered if Marty actually believed that. He looked up at the ceiling as he thought about it. “I don’t know. I think… I don’t think there’s anything you could have done honestly. Between the basketball team and Reed and my parents all getting in my head, I don’t think there was anything anyone could have done to make me any less angry. And then things with my parents got even worse, and then Buffy showed up and flipped my whole basketball thing upside down and figured out my whole math thing. And I felt so exposed. Cyrus found me when I was at my lowest point and saw through all that anger and just saw me. No one had done that since you. And I don’t know. I don’t know what it is about Cyrus exactly that makes him so special. Maybe it was just a timing thing. Maybe it needed to be someone who didn’t know me as well as you did.” TJ turned his head to look at Marty, who was staring back at him. “Either way, it’s not because you weren’t worth changing for. I just didn’t know how to change yet. And you were right to leave. You didn’t deserve to put up with my shit.”

“Yeah, I know. But… Sometimes I wonder what what would have happened if I had stayed.”

“Well, stop that. It may have sucked getting here, but I like where we ended up.”

Marty reached over and squeezed his hand. “Yeah… Me too.”


End file.
